As I reach the midpoint of my life, caught in the waves of what is often called a “midlife crisis,” I found myself picking up a few books on the subject. With each page I turned, it felt as though I was redrawing the map of my own life. And so, I decided to pause and reflect, to humorously yet honestly share the thoughts and feelings that have surfaced.
The first book I picked up was deceptively gentle at first glance, but its content struck like a sharp blade. Titled “Middle-aged Virgins,” （中年童貞）this provocative work by a reporter piqued my curiosity. As I read, a cold shiver ran down my spine. “What if I hadn’t had those few relationships during my college years? What would have become of me?” The thought sent a chill through me. The subtle disconnect between how others perceive me and how I see myself, coupled with my occasional clumsiness in communication, has often caused me distress. As I read, I recalled something I had seen on social media: “A streak of bad luck is often the result of a series of small, misguided decisions accumulating over time.” It felt as though this message was directed squarely at me, and it stuck with me. This book, while not exactly a self-help guide, awakened in me a quiet resolve to improve myself, even if only little by little.
The next book I picked up was titled “The Strategic Guide to the Second Half of Life.” （人生後半の戦略書）The title alone exudes an intellectual air, and the book did not disappoint. It delved deeply into the reality that economic success does not necessarily equate to happiness, a notion I have often heard but had not fully grasped until now. The book’s conclusion was clear: to love one’s family and environment (society), and to focus on educating and guiding the next generation rather than chasing personal success and desires, is the key to a fulfilling second half of life. As I reflected on my own life, I realized how much I had neglected the importance of making friends and enjoying time with them. While I’ve always enjoyed my solitude, perhaps I prioritized it too much. Now that I’ve resumed my music activities with my partner, I feel strongly that our work—whether it be live performances, released songs, or YouTube content—should not be just for us, but should be created in a way that brings joy, learning, and connection to our friends and audience.
Finally, the last book I picked up was “The Party’s Over, and Midlife Begins.”（パーティーが終わって、中年が始まる） I had previously held a somewhat aloof and cool impression of the author, but the book’s reviews on social media and its intriguing title drew me in. Upon reading, I found that his life and ideas were fascinating, and I even felt a twinge of envy. His life, once supported by freedom and youth, inevitably began to change as he entered middle age. Despite our vastly different paths, I found myself strangely in sync with his experiences. There was a peculiar generational sympathy that I couldn’t ignore. This book too reaffirmed the importance of relationships and the value of friendship.
Inspired by these books, I decided to compile my thoughts into an English blog. While it’s partly an exercise in language practice, I also want to better communicate my feelings to those around me. To do so, I plan to further digest these ideas and craft a more refined version in Japanese.
